If im a writer_

Can i erase my screwed-up life?

can i write again my story?

Can I write my mother was beside me , healthy , complaining me , cooking delicious food during dinner? always bought my favorite food ?

Can i write my mother was still alive?
so that I can tell her again how sorry i am, a douchebag, a useless daughter, an ignorant girl.

Can i write this year is the end of the world?
so that i dont have to suffer everyday. i dont have to watch my grandma cry everyday, so that things wont look so bad.

Can i write about a guy?
who can hug me right now.

Can i write.......the past? again?
so clear all my regrets....

Immunity.

Everyone has feelings too .

One day , a person come to you and confessed about everything, the past , and told you that you can count on him , he will always be there.
the next few days, he come to you again , and said, " ill take back my words."
whats my feeling?
i feel , blank, empty.
i dont know why , i just let out a cold smile on my face, why? i dont know, why dont you ask my feelings?

The reason im writing this isnt saying you're wrong, please, understand the situation, step in my shoes and think.

You can just throw words that is meaningful to me, and you asked it back.
why, of course, i will give back to you, can i say No?

Stop acting like you are going to disappear tomorrow , stop doing everything with your feelings.
think wise, act wise .

Again, please dont misunderstand this post, im not complaining you.
im just saying.

Well , maybe im immune with all this "Leaving"
the most cruel thing God taken away from me had already happened.
so, whats next? im ready, i dont feel the pain anymore, coz im already immune too it.

Stop this please, only you can cry now?
i have tears too,
what to do , im crying right now, seeing you leaving again.
no one will be there for me anymore, i'd already used to the feeling.
Just cry , cry and cry.
its normal,
coz im immuned to it.

stress out

sometimes i feel so stressed out,
why people dont understand me

why always ended up im the wrong one?
i just did the way i think it was right, normal
why, stop treating me like that
stop giving me the stare.
i know i wrong.
just stop the stares and everything
stop thinking that i did it on purpose.
im really tired.
my heart is really tired.

sometimes i just need a hug, so that i can cry out loud.

what to do ?

argh!!! streeeeeeeeeeeesss!!! *jessica and gary style*
what to do?
after i graduated secondary school , i will surely going to aus.
then what about dad?
he say he will move house and stay in a apartment,
yeah that was acceptable.
BUT then
he surely go drink and smoke..

he quitted smoke because of mummy's sickness already.
but then i remember during new year.
we went to my sis godparents house.
then we were inside playing mono poly cards,
then my eldest sis suddenly came in and tell me that daddy was smoking!
by the time i listened bout it , i was totally pissed off....!!!
why! i tot he quitted smoking ....

but he smoked! and twice!!
thanks to the "GOOD" friend of daddy, influenced him.

sometimes i think just stay at malaysia and continue my studies so that i can keep an eye on him. but im not super close with my dad, so its kinda hard!!!!

arghhhhh.... if mummy is still here , everything wont be that complicated><

untitled.

Sometimes, i will think of you.
just thinking how we enjoy talking each other.
laughs, giggles.

although i know you werent perfect,
i just ignore them.
and imagining your smile,
then ill smile to myself.

when i saw you, i only can stand in a very far distance.
just looking at you,
just looking is satisfying.
i can see you're happy, then im glad.

i just hope , one day,
we will just hold hands, eat together , had a movie together, or just lay onto ur shoulders.

:)

The truth !

I , hereby clarify myself, for being innocently single, not flirting , not liking anyone right now !

I AM SO NOT IN LOVE NOR FLIRTING WITH MALES.

DIE ASSHOLES!

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS THE USE OF YOUR EYES, WHY YOU HAD TO SEE THINGS IN A PESSIMISTIC WAY?

CANT YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM VERY PURELY TALKING TO A GUY, NOT FLIRTING SHITS.

PLEASE REFER TO YOURSELF BEFORE TALKING BULLSHITS.

thankyou.

seriously?

Like, seriously?

i just talking with friends, joking and laughing,

or is it , talk with a guy friend , laugh with a guy friend , surely is equal to flirting/ liking each other?

seriously?

then i no need talk to any male friend alr .

so good worry about you , send you inbox inform u something, but end up a cold reply, how nice?

fuck this shit.

seriously, grow up , why dont you think ? how bout you talking with girls? oh , thats nothing ? then i talk with boys , is something?

i cant accept your so called facts , its simply ridiculous and lame.

maybe i should start falling in love with girls , coz mostly the boys is met are douchebags :)