*playing online game *

suddenly an old player/friend online...

chat and chat...

he asked:' how are you? still with xxxxx ?"
i was like... lol......
i said: he got gf already.....

>.

awkward moment when people thought we still together(well actually not together, just very close~ )

now suddenly feel  we are like total strangers now.

=) but if he's happy , im happy ^.^

haihsss~

everytime this question will come over my mind.

eventho you hurt me so much,

but i still think the same question today, how are you right now? doing fine? without me? =)

i saw you, but wasnt sure is you or not..

haha, are you happy right now?


i miss you =) * gosh does miss have to be couple love? cant it be a simple friendly miss? please stop think wrongly! *

Hugs

Now, i just need a big strong hug,

Eventho i know i will miss you.
but the pain, eventually i will break into pieces, and scattered everywhere.
eventho i know i will miss you deadly,
but if you decided to purposely do all those movement to provoke me.
please , stop , it.
why, why you wanna be like this?
is it fun provoking me ?
well, maybe im immuned to it,
coz you are the 2nd person provoking me :)
haha.. i dont know why , everyone likes to tease me ,
and i dont know why too, i have to bear those provokings and mockings.
eventho it hurts like hell.
eventually im holding everything up.
sometimes i just wanna cry out loud, but i cant.
i only can do a placcid smile,
to everyone.
to tell everyone im perfectly fine,eventho im not, at all.

i wanna grab your arms, and yell at you , and tell you, it hurts.
i wanna cry right in front of you, to tell you my pain.

but i cant,when i see your face, flashbacks occur in my mind.
its like a quick glance to our past.
so i ended up, smiling to you.

i wish, you can hold me tight, eventho its hard to breathe, but please, hug me , hug me tight.
let it be forever, dont ever let go me.so that i wont let go you too.

im sorry, im selfish, i dont take another step towards you, because i had it enough.
if you ever think about taking another step, please let the step be a hug , it will be statisfying.
 please stop your childish acts, it annoys.
 stop everything, and start hugging.

a hug can mean a thousand words, expressions , feelings.

3-4-2012

hahahahahaha sometimes when i see your wall..

you , make , me , laugh ! 

because you are just doing the same, dude, whats your rights to say me?

you tease me, but you are just doing the same.

i dunno why, everytime you make me give you a sympatic smile. :D

because you teach me to do it

and 1 more thing.

dont think i dunno anything,

i know alot than you ! 

darn.

I try my best to make you happy
talk to you

WHY are you still provoking me , teasing me?

i had patience too

instead of keep saying me have intention, even say me "are you provoking me?"

are you seriously serious?

why, i really treat you sincerely dude.

you keep think i got intention ?

say bad abit , WHAT YOU GOT? IF I REALLY GOT INTENTION ? WHAT YOU HAVE FOR ME TO STEAL?


you know what, i gave up, im sick of you treating me like this,

fuck you.

If im a writer_

Can i erase my screwed-up life?

can i write again my story?

Can I write my mother was beside me , healthy , complaining me , cooking delicious food during dinner? always bought my favorite food ?

Can i write my mother was still alive?
so that I can tell her again how sorry i am, a douchebag, a useless daughter, an ignorant girl.

Can i write this year is the end of the world?
so that i dont have to suffer everyday. i dont have to watch my grandma cry everyday, so that things wont look so bad.

Can i write about a guy?
who can hug me right now.

Can i write.......the past? again?
so clear all my regrets....

Immunity.

Everyone has feelings too .

One day , a person come to you and confessed about everything, the past , and told you that you can count on him , he will always be there.
the next few days, he come to you again , and said, " ill take back my words."
whats my feeling?
i feel , blank, empty.
i dont know why , i just let out a cold smile on my face, why? i dont know, why dont you ask my feelings?

The reason im writing this isnt saying you're wrong, please, understand the situation, step in my shoes and think.

You can just throw words that is meaningful to me, and you asked it back.
why, of course, i will give back to you, can i say No?

Stop acting like you are going to disappear tomorrow , stop doing everything with your feelings.
think wise, act wise .

Again, please dont misunderstand this post, im not complaining you.
im just saying.

Well , maybe im immune with all this "Leaving"
the most cruel thing God taken away from me had already happened.
so, whats next? im ready, i dont feel the pain anymore, coz im already immune too it.

Stop this please, only you can cry now?
i have tears too,
what to do , im crying right now, seeing you leaving again.
no one will be there for me anymore, i'd already used to the feeling.
Just cry , cry and cry.
its normal,
coz im immuned to it.