20.10.2010

20.10.2010
sucha meaningful day uh? yeah, it's meaningful to me, very much.

The arguements___
Leads to breakups.
Reason:The past.
which is said " lame reason." by him.
why is it " lame"?

He still said that;why wouldn't you forget about it?why?no one will support you with that lame reason;this is not enough evidence for breaking up.."

In my freaking mind, i just wanted to say , " fuck you, you bloody hell jerk,I TOLD YOU ALREADY,FOR THE FREAKING MANY TIMES, I TRIED ALRIGHT?! I TRIED THE FUCKING HELL TO FORGET THIS FUCKING THING!! AND WHO SAYS I WANTED SUPPORT? ITS MY RIGHT TO SAY SOMETHING. ALRIGHT? SON OF A BITCH.fuck you."

but,this sentence didn't escaped from my mouth.I'm speechless, am I too afraid to speak out?I stayed motionless.
Why? what am i suppose to say now?
What I've tried to defend myself, is all WRONG.

Forget about it! what I've said, it;s all fucking wrong.
I have no rights to speak up for myself.
"You're not allowed to cry."..thats what he said.
My heart,throbbed painfully.
Not allowed to cry? so what am i suppose to do now? sit down and laugh out loud?
I can't take it any longer!
So i said,"okay ..time for bed, good nights :') "
After hunging up the phone,I yelled,I screamed inside of my heart.I pulled my hair to ease my pain.I screamed with all my strength.
Tear dropped endlessly.

After a short while, I stopped crying.
I felt that,im nothing.
I immediately walked upstairs, straight forward to my room.
Locked the door,switch off the lights.
I remain silent and motionless in the pitch black room.
I felt a sudden vibration nearby;it's my phone.
its him.

I shuddered as I picked up his call.
What mistake i'm gonna do again? please, angel, no more mistake please...
"Hello." I can't believe I managed to speak up.

"hey,I'm worried,come on call me back."

"okay."I hung up his call.
Suddenly, I screamed really, really loud,still worried that what if my parents did hear me screaming.
"Liars...LIARSSSSS"
I didn't understand why i screamed LIARS.it just, come out for no reason..
I let out a pitiful cry,out of my heart.

I walked to downstairs
Dialing his number ; 0 - 6 - 6 - * * * * *
His house numver;i'll never forget.


To-Be-Continued.