darn.

I try my best to make you happy
talk to you

WHY are you still provoking me , teasing me?

i had patience too

instead of keep saying me have intention, even say me "are you provoking me?"

are you seriously serious?

why, i really treat you sincerely dude.

you keep think i got intention ?

say bad abit , WHAT YOU GOT? IF I REALLY GOT INTENTION ? WHAT YOU HAVE FOR ME TO STEAL?


you know what, i gave up, im sick of you treating me like this,

fuck you.

If im a writer_

Can i erase my screwed-up life?

can i write again my story?

Can I write my mother was beside me , healthy , complaining me , cooking delicious food during dinner? always bought my favorite food ?

Can i write my mother was still alive?
so that I can tell her again how sorry i am, a douchebag, a useless daughter, an ignorant girl.

Can i write this year is the end of the world?
so that i dont have to suffer everyday. i dont have to watch my grandma cry everyday, so that things wont look so bad.

Can i write about a guy?
who can hug me right now.

Can i write.......the past? again?
so clear all my regrets....

Immunity.

Everyone has feelings too .

One day , a person come to you and confessed about everything, the past , and told you that you can count on him , he will always be there.
the next few days, he come to you again , and said, " ill take back my words."
whats my feeling?
i feel , blank, empty.
i dont know why , i just let out a cold smile on my face, why? i dont know, why dont you ask my feelings?

The reason im writing this isnt saying you're wrong, please, understand the situation, step in my shoes and think.

You can just throw words that is meaningful to me, and you asked it back.
why, of course, i will give back to you, can i say No?

Stop acting like you are going to disappear tomorrow , stop doing everything with your feelings.
think wise, act wise .

Again, please dont misunderstand this post, im not complaining you.
im just saying.

Well , maybe im immune with all this "Leaving"
the most cruel thing God taken away from me had already happened.
so, whats next? im ready, i dont feel the pain anymore, coz im already immune too it.

Stop this please, only you can cry now?
i have tears too,
what to do , im crying right now, seeing you leaving again.
no one will be there for me anymore, i'd already used to the feeling.
Just cry , cry and cry.
its normal,
coz im immuned to it.