woke up in the morning and had breakfast with beloved daddy and sister.
when im inside the car with daddy , i dont know why , theres always a silence between us , there werent a fight going on , it just , a total silence , a wide gap between him and I ?
went to yew lee and ate keow toeh soup , yum yum .
afternoon,
i dont know why , theres something wrong between him and i .
well now this is a different him , he was so called " my lover " ( thats what we called him between my sisters instead of just saying out his name ). this few days, we just , gone speechless , is it just me or does he even realize theres something fishy?
one day, i went out tesco with my sister , i tried to tell her the problem , hoping for a resolution from her.but something just hit me , is it that im just too serious on him?
you know , i am the mood-will-just-drop-suddenly-and-mean type of girl.
and he is just an ordinary-and-simple-minded type of boy.
are we even meant to be together or not?
i think i just get too serious on him , he is cheerful and happy all along , and i just freak out and get myself a bad day.
he was not to be blamed, it was me all along.
sometimes i just couldnt tolerate a simple thing.
why is this happening on me?
it isnt like i was on pms ~!
urgh, seriously , i need to change my temper!
but him , i dont know.
is this relationship right?
i know at the beginning, but somehow now i'm kinda lost what i am after at.
he is fine, caring , and cheerful .
no worries in his life.
but me? i freak out alot , i can be happy at the first second , and moody or grumpy at the next minute.
is this even normal?
after i threw my temper on him , i regretted immediately.
but sometimes i even feel that this is a right thing to do , seriously , imma a crazy girl.
even if i threw my temper on him , he still smiles and wait for me .
i dont want to treat him like that anymore,
is there any resolution?
sigh
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
untitled part infinity
just back from family trip to hong kong and korea
its really nice !
the weather there is cold and cozy
the food was simply amazing...
now i know, i love meats!!! esp beef ! hahahahaahahahah!
hong kong , is shopping heaven.
but im so not a shopping typo
but i still enjoy alot .
too bad my elder sis couldnt join us.
only me dad and 2nd sister.
everything was perfect and nice.
when i went to disneyland.
i remembered about mom.
when i walk around.
i remember i was with mom, talking happily, so excited.
but now. 'theres no her anymore.
tears almost burst out.
but i held back.
i should be happy right? why would i sad?
i mean , i should be grateful.
mommy is now somewhere happy now..
without suffering any pain.
she might be beside us.
watching us having fun.
and smiling.
damn, i miss her beautiful smile.
its really nice !
the weather there is cold and cozy
the food was simply amazing...
now i know, i love meats!!! esp beef ! hahahahaahahahah!
hong kong , is shopping heaven.
but im so not a shopping typo
but i still enjoy alot .
too bad my elder sis couldnt join us.
only me dad and 2nd sister.
everything was perfect and nice.
when i went to disneyland.
i remembered about mom.
when i walk around.
i remember i was with mom, talking happily, so excited.
but now. 'theres no her anymore.
tears almost burst out.
but i held back.
i should be happy right? why would i sad?
i mean , i should be grateful.
mommy is now somewhere happy now..
without suffering any pain.
she might be beside us.
watching us having fun.
and smiling.
damn, i miss her beautiful smile.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
통증
yeah ,
i did very very very angry .
i did very upset .
i screamed.
goddammit, why is this so complicated?
tears.
so what ?
no pain no gain.
thanks for the memories.
ill cherish it.
haha .
kamsahamida ! x)
saranghae !
* have to burn something =.= never got a chance to give it... wuwu*
i did very very very angry .
i did very upset .
i screamed.
goddammit, why is this so complicated?
tears.
so what ?
no pain no gain.
thanks for the memories.
ill cherish it.
haha .
kamsahamida ! x)
saranghae !
* have to burn something =.= never got a chance to give it... wuwu*
SPM ended !
whee exam ended !
challenged of a part of life ,mission accomplished!
well it's just a part of life ,
there are more things to do , to face, to encounter, to try.
so next year is college life~
new stuffs to put in my mind
new people
new surrounding !
now after spm , my life is just like......a rubbish =.=
but im going holiday soon ^.^
oh my pity boy, gonna leave him ~ T_T
every day just face laptop , with sis , daydreaming...
chin gu? nah , i think i got neglected
ho ho ho
well im ready to take the blame
hahahahahhahahahahaha
not the first time ! oh well, this is life.
people come and go!
they just go , well, let them be, maybe im not that important.
just sit down.
smile to them.
this is life right?
hehe ^^ go ba go ba.
i dont mind anymore.
i see it through now.
look at the bright side, you got your life.
i got mine?
maybe i take it too much, i should let it go slowly now...
do watch me disappear.
goodbyes ! annyeong !
challenged of a part of life ,mission accomplished!
well it's just a part of life ,
there are more things to do , to face, to encounter, to try.
so next year is college life~
new stuffs to put in my mind
new people
new surrounding !
now after spm , my life is just like......a rubbish =.=
but im going holiday soon ^.^
oh my pity boy, gonna leave him ~ T_T
every day just face laptop , with sis , daydreaming...
chin gu? nah , i think i got neglected
ho ho ho
well im ready to take the blame
hahahahahhahahahahaha
not the first time ! oh well, this is life.
people come and go!
they just go , well, let them be, maybe im not that important.
just sit down.
smile to them.
this is life right?
hehe ^^ go ba go ba.
i dont mind anymore.
i see it through now.
look at the bright side, you got your life.
i got mine?
maybe i take it too much, i should let it go slowly now...
do watch me disappear.
goodbyes ! annyeong !
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
tomotachi
what are friends for anyway?
when you need something then only you go get help from a friend.
in a optimistic thinking, we helped each other.
in a pessimistic thinking, we used each other.
should i believe hate optimistic or the pessimistic?
everyone needed space.
everyone needed time.
Time soon fades off.
friendship followed.
maybe i take it too much.
maybe you guys dont even give a damn about it.
like seriously,
i cried.
dont get that thinking like "ohh so you cried , so you're the innocent one?"
well , i wasnt trying to get sympathy from people
it just that , do i think too much?
friends...
when you need something then only you go get help from a friend.
in a optimistic thinking, we helped each other.
in a pessimistic thinking, we used each other.
should i believe hate optimistic or the pessimistic?
everyone needed space.
everyone needed time.
Time soon fades off.
friendship followed.
maybe i take it too much.
maybe you guys dont even give a damn about it.
like seriously,
i cried.
dont get that thinking like "ohh so you cried , so you're the innocent one?"
well , i wasnt trying to get sympathy from people
it just that , do i think too much?
friends...
Monday, October 29, 2012
Unfold the Pandora's box
Take it slow.
In our souls, we were implanted with Pandora's box.
it lived within us, forever.
When we opened it, there was no turning back.
It didnt accept objections.
Close your eyes.
spoke to yourself.
Follow the flow of the rhythm,
let it take you to the other dimension.
Open your eyes.
Seeing things that you shouldnt.
Gaze at your long lost happiness.
Try to grap it.
it vanished into ashes.
Turn around.
You're standing alone on a street.
nobody was there.
Look up.
Snow flakes started to fall.
you took out your palm.
snow melted onto your palm
A Sudden chill penetrated your body.
Look down.
you're back where you were again.
In our souls, we were implanted with Pandora's box.
it lived within us, forever.
When we opened it, there was no turning back.
It didnt accept objections.
Close your eyes.
spoke to yourself.
Follow the flow of the rhythm,
let it take you to the other dimension.
Open your eyes.
Seeing things that you shouldnt.
Gaze at your long lost happiness.
Try to grap it.
it vanished into ashes.
Turn around.
You're standing alone on a street.
nobody was there.
Look up.
Snow flakes started to fall.
you took out your palm.
snow melted onto your palm
A Sudden chill penetrated your body.
Look down.
you're back where you were again.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Hugs
hugs.
definitely need hugs.
that overwhelming feeling.
takes over my agony.
it drifts off my pain.
and replace it with love.
one day, im gonna drive to somewhere alone.
gazing at the peaceful scenery alone.
and cry alone.
boy , im sorry.
i cant give you my love.
because im not available anymore.
you are my friend.
you cares me alot, whenever im down, you are there for me.
I seriously owe you alot.
but i couldnt pay back.
Sorry, i couldnt love you back.
i only love you as a best friend.
but your love surpass the limit.
which is my mistake, because of me, you fell in love with me.
i didnt think much..
if is that possible, one day, im going to give you a hug.
a long hug.
so that i can take away your pain.
seeing you suffering because of me, it doesnt worth it at all.
all your suffers dont worth it.
boy, im really sorry.
let me hug you, and take away your agonies.
definitely need hugs.
that overwhelming feeling.
takes over my agony.
it drifts off my pain.
and replace it with love.
one day, im gonna drive to somewhere alone.
gazing at the peaceful scenery alone.
and cry alone.
boy , im sorry.
i cant give you my love.
because im not available anymore.
you are my friend.
you cares me alot, whenever im down, you are there for me.
I seriously owe you alot.
but i couldnt pay back.
Sorry, i couldnt love you back.
i only love you as a best friend.
but your love surpass the limit.
which is my mistake, because of me, you fell in love with me.
i didnt think much..
if is that possible, one day, im going to give you a hug.
a long hug.
so that i can take away your pain.
seeing you suffering because of me, it doesnt worth it at all.
all your suffers dont worth it.
boy, im really sorry.
let me hug you, and take away your agonies.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
命
现在的我
只能走一步，算一步。
再也不敢放希望太大，太高。
自从失去了妈妈，
本来对未来期望很高的我，慢慢地，往下看，再也没把头抬起来，等待着未来。
未来先生，我告退了。
我的速度慢慢地减少。
这一切，都是一个东西纠缠着我们。
那个就是，命。
命运可以把我们的梦想毁灭。
难道，这一切都和古代一样吗？
皇上可以赐你活和死。
奴才或平民们都认为这一切都是命运。
现在，命运就是我们的命。
我们只能被它操纵，控制。
就算你有多么疯狂的梦想，成就，事业，幸福。
这一切，都是短暂的。
有什么东西是永远的？
本来我们一出生在这个世界，就是等着被控制。
有多么高的欲望，梦想。
自然的。
我们都等待·着收拾它们的尸体。
有时候，
我有想过，妈妈离开了人间，是世界上最幸福的事。
我羡慕了，嫉妒了。
她不用再这世界上争扎。
就算达到了目标，到最后，都要认命。
只能走一步，算一步。
再也不敢放希望太大，太高。
自从失去了妈妈，
本来对未来期望很高的我，慢慢地，往下看，再也没把头抬起来，等待着未来。
未来先生，我告退了。
我的速度慢慢地减少。
这一切，都是一个东西纠缠着我们。
那个就是，命。
命运可以把我们的梦想毁灭。
难道，这一切都和古代一样吗？
皇上可以赐你活和死。
奴才或平民们都认为这一切都是命运。
现在，命运就是我们的命。
我们只能被它操纵，控制。
就算你有多么疯狂的梦想，成就，事业，幸福。
这一切，都是短暂的。
有什么东西是永远的？
本来我们一出生在这个世界，就是等着被控制。
有多么高的欲望，梦想。
自然的。
我们都等待·着收拾它们的尸体。
有时候，
我有想过，妈妈离开了人间，是世界上最幸福的事。
我羡慕了，嫉妒了。
她不用再这世界上争扎。
就算达到了目标，到最后，都要认命。
Friday, September 21, 2012
untitled .
Sometimes i miss him badly.
well, should i say i always miss him?
the feelings sucks when we are separated , by different school.
one at klian pauh , one at hua lian.
x( i miss you and need you !!!!
baka y.j ! , muacks sarangheo xP
SPM trial just over.
my result...uhm can i say good??
here are my results :p
add maths 77
moral 83
physics dunno yet T-T hope its a B or at least an A-?
english 79 ( ONE MORE !)
bm - 63
sejarah 75
bc- 64
mm - 91
chemistry 75
biology 55
ahhhh my biology kills me . head.shot......
gotta push my biology real hard. i dont want a C in my SPM result
but actually i quite satisfy with my result because everything i did it in last minute and i can such result....
heheheheheheeheh im a one lucky girl!
bc...no hope..i asked for a B . thats all i want ...heheheh\
and bm !!! A?? how can i get an A when i never get one!
T_T
but my forecast result are more important than my spm result because i use my forecast result to apply my january intake...............
speaking of jan intake....
im going to austrailia next year!!!
50% happy because i can be with my sister
50% not happy because im going to leave him .... oh my beloved ones.~
can i really bear the times without him? although now we dont really see each other except he asked me out or tuition .
distance? can it really be ignored? can our relationship last long even we are far apart from each other?
i want him.
im gonna hold tight this relationship i had now.
i am not going to let him go.
because ....he is a unique and cute and stupid boy that i love <3 p="p">
i love you bendan :3
well, should i say i always miss him?
the feelings sucks when we are separated , by different school.
one at klian pauh , one at hua lian.
x( i miss you and need you !!!!
baka y.j ! , muacks sarangheo xP
SPM trial just over.
my result...uhm can i say good??
here are my results :p
add maths 77
moral 83
physics dunno yet T-T hope its a B or at least an A-?
english 79 ( ONE MORE !)
bm - 63
sejarah 75
bc- 64
mm - 91
chemistry 75
biology 55
ahhhh my biology kills me . head.shot......
gotta push my biology real hard. i dont want a C in my SPM result
but actually i quite satisfy with my result because everything i did it in last minute and i can such result....
heheheheheheeheh im a one lucky girl!
bc...no hope..i asked for a B . thats all i want ...heheheh\
and bm !!! A?? how can i get an A when i never get one!
T_T
but my forecast result are more important than my spm result because i use my forecast result to apply my january intake...............
speaking of jan intake....
im going to austrailia next year!!!
50% happy because i can be with my sister
50% not happy because im going to leave him .... oh my beloved ones.~
can i really bear the times without him? although now we dont really see each other except he asked me out or tuition .
distance? can it really be ignored? can our relationship last long even we are far apart from each other?
i want him.
im gonna hold tight this relationship i had now.
i am not going to let him go.
because ....he is a unique and cute and stupid boy that i love <3 p="p">
i love you bendan :3
Saturday, August 18, 2012
发 泄 .
不懂
我其实不懂,为什么有时候看到他
应该觉得开心的
你心爱的人呐,应该是很开心的吗
但是
不懂做么的,只好勉强微笑
不是故意要欺骗他.
只是不要他担心...
我那时很想,很想...
得到他的拥抱.
今天回家后,
很想搞失踪,做傻事.
但又做不出.
你们也会这样吗?
你们会不懂什么原因而崩溃,想要大哭一场.
有时候觉得很累.
其实
我都希望"她"可以带走我,带走我离开这个复杂的世界.
我不敢想或看未来,
每天看到老爸每晚都喝醉,婆婆因为她而哭,姐姐一直为钱烦恼所以一直打工.
每天睡觉
我都很想梦到我们一家人开开心心过日子
"她"还活着的日子...
那么快已经要一年了.
她已离开我们的日子.......
我很怕....我不懂我在怕什么....就觉得...没有安全感...
哎...
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
♥ saranghae
Oh boy,
you took my heart away.
You made my day.
You never fail to cheer me up.
I wish, i hope our relationship last long.
eventhough the chances is so low.
but im glad,
im glad that i know you =)
14/7/12
the 1st month ♥
OYJ ♥
you took my heart away.
You made my day.
You never fail to cheer me up.
I wish, i hope our relationship last long.
eventhough the chances is so low.
but im glad,
im glad that i know you =)
14/7/12
the 1st month ♥
OYJ ♥
Saturday, August 11, 2012
STUDIES .HECTIC.STRESS
issshh
gotta start study , gotta start study.
i told myself for like....billion times?
but i still cant focus.
ugh!!
its like two more weeks to trial and i haven ready a single subject!
gosh.
trial is really really important to me!
but i was like living my life and dont gave any damn for my life.
GOTTA START FOCUS, STUDY !!
gambateh angelina low ! hwaiting !!!
gotta start study , gotta start study.
i told myself for like....billion times?
but i still cant focus.
ugh!!
its like two more weeks to trial and i haven ready a single subject!
gosh.
trial is really really important to me!
but i was like living my life and dont gave any damn for my life.
GOTTA START FOCUS, STUDY !!
gambateh angelina low ! hwaiting !!!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Dream About you .
Woke up at 8 in the morning.
went breakie with my awesome daddy at Beelun.
went home
fell asleep
uhm...actually i had a weird dream
i was sitting next to my mum.
she was as adorable as always.
we were laughing in car
went for shopping...
then BAM, i woke up.
Flashback started to happen.
Last year.
whole month.
she fell ill.
lay on bed.
those moan , painful moan. faint voice..
man, this is a nightmare...
i miss you....mummy...
went breakie with my awesome daddy at Beelun.
went home
fell asleep
uhm...actually i had a weird dream
i was sitting next to my mum.
she was as adorable as always.
we were laughing in car
went for shopping...
then BAM, i woke up.
Flashback started to happen.
Last year.
whole month.
she fell ill.
lay on bed.
those moan , painful moan. faint voice..
man, this is a nightmare...
i miss you....mummy...
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Friend or couples?
ITs kinda annoying.
people want more than friends.
but, aren't like this, is not better?
we can hang out together
laugh together
but theres a limit.
argh, i hate getting myself frustrated with this problems.
i met several new friend(quite?)
they are all friendly and nice, i feel comfortable when mix with them.....
even tho sometimes they treat me like a boy-.-
but i dont know why, i like this.
its not that im "HIAO" or what
hey, mixing boys means hiao?
are you still in the 80s? sometimes we have to dare to mix.
and please, just friends , why all of you look like we are so complicated?
haihs.
i love them, as a friend!!!
i love playing and mixing with them
after mixing with them , i never had so much fun,
i realise i been stuck in this home for a long time.
time to see the world, not a worm in the house.
=D
people want more than friends.
but, aren't like this, is not better?
we can hang out together
laugh together
but theres a limit.
argh, i hate getting myself frustrated with this problems.
i met several new friend(quite?)
they are all friendly and nice, i feel comfortable when mix with them.....
even tho sometimes they treat me like a boy-.-
but i dont know why, i like this.
its not that im "HIAO" or what
hey, mixing boys means hiao?
are you still in the 80s? sometimes we have to dare to mix.
and please, just friends , why all of you look like we are so complicated?
haihs.
i love them, as a friend!!!
i love playing and mixing with them
after mixing with them , i never had so much fun,
i realise i been stuck in this home for a long time.
time to see the world, not a worm in the house.
=D
Saturday, June 16, 2012
L O V E
have you ever thought before this problem, about love?
its like , you like him , he like you too, both of you guys know that you like each other, but both of you are being pulled back.
because there are friends we dont want hurt, and future that we know we are going to be separated.
yeah, im in it.i just like, not super love.
i just think, hey , he's a good guy.
but both of us let it go, well, at least we are trying right now.
both of us chose friendship against love.
dont worry, i will make sure even both of us cant be lovers, but we can be a good friend.
its like , you like him , he like you too, both of you guys know that you like each other, but both of you are being pulled back.
because there are friends we dont want hurt, and future that we know we are going to be separated.
yeah, im in it.i just like, not super love.
i just think, hey , he's a good guy.
but both of us let it go, well, at least we are trying right now.
both of us chose friendship against love.
dont worry, i will make sure even both of us cant be lovers, but we can be a good friend.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
hello bloggie!!!
long time didnt write blog..
there are few things i wanna say..
16-4-2012
happy belated birthday ~ =)
altho i didnt wish you directly, i just wish u right here, quietly.
i hope you are healthy and happy with your life!
...
exam coming!!!! eeeeeeeeeee
i haven studying.. im just done chapter 2 of chemi( well...roughly... not perfectly.. =P)
i just wanna improve, not dropping out !
gambateh wen!
dont look or compare with others.. if wan compare, a positive comparision ! not envy or what.
coz its not healthy.
let other be your motivation, not your stress !
gogogo!
long time didnt write blog..
there are few things i wanna say..
16-4-2012
happy belated birthday ~ =)
altho i didnt wish you directly, i just wish u right here, quietly.
i hope you are healthy and happy with your life!
...
exam coming!!!! eeeeeeeeeee
i haven studying.. im just done chapter 2 of chemi( well...roughly... not perfectly.. =P)
i just wanna improve, not dropping out !
gambateh wen!
dont look or compare with others.. if wan compare, a positive comparision ! not envy or what.
coz its not healthy.
let other be your motivation, not your stress !
gogogo!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
*playing online game *
suddenly an old player/friend online...
chat and chat...
he asked:' how are you? still with xxxxx ?"
i was like... lol......
i said: he got gf already.....
>.
awkward moment when people thought we still together(well actually not together, just very close~ )
now suddenly feel we are like total strangers now.
=) but if he's happy , im happy ^.^
suddenly an old player/friend online...
chat and chat...
he asked:' how are you? still with xxxxx ?"
i was like... lol......
i said: he got gf already.....
>.
awkward moment when people thought we still together(well actually not together, just very close~ )
now suddenly feel we are like total strangers now.
=) but if he's happy , im happy ^.^
Thursday, April 5, 2012
haihsss~
everytime this question will come over my mind.
eventho you hurt me so much,
but i still think the same question today, how are you right now? doing fine? without me? =)
i saw you, but wasnt sure is you or not..
haha, are you happy right now?
i miss you =) * gosh does miss have to be couple love? cant it be a simple friendly miss? please stop think wrongly! *
everytime this question will come over my mind.
eventho you hurt me so much,
but i still think the same question today, how are you right now? doing fine? without me? =)
i saw you, but wasnt sure is you or not..
haha, are you happy right now?
i miss you =) * gosh does miss have to be couple love? cant it be a simple friendly miss? please stop think wrongly! *
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Hugs
Now, i just need a big strong hug,
Eventho i know i will miss you.
but the pain, eventually i will break into pieces, and scattered everywhere.
eventho i know i will miss you deadly,
but if you decided to purposely do all those movement to provoke me.
please , stop , it.
why, why you wanna be like this?
is it fun provoking me ?
well, maybe im immuned to it,
coz you are the 2nd person provoking me :)
haha.. i dont know why , everyone likes to tease me ,
and i dont know why too, i have to bear those provokings and mockings.
eventho it hurts like hell.
eventually im holding everything up.
sometimes i just wanna cry out loud, but i cant.
i only can do a placcid smile,
to everyone.
to tell everyone im perfectly fine,eventho im not, at all.
i wanna grab your arms, and yell at you , and tell you, it hurts.
i wanna cry right in front of you, to tell you my pain.
but i cant,when i see your face, flashbacks occur in my mind.
its like a quick glance to our past.
so i ended up, smiling to you.
i wish, you can hold me tight, eventho its hard to breathe, but please, hug me , hug me tight.
let it be forever, dont ever let go me.so that i wont let go you too.
im sorry, im selfish, i dont take another step towards you, because i had it enough.
if you ever think about taking another step, please let the step be a hug , it will be statisfying.
please stop your childish acts, it annoys.
stop everything, and start hugging.
a hug can mean a thousand words, expressions , feelings.
Eventho i know i will miss you.
but the pain, eventually i will break into pieces, and scattered everywhere.
eventho i know i will miss you deadly,
but if you decided to purposely do all those movement to provoke me.
please , stop , it.
why, why you wanna be like this?
is it fun provoking me ?
well, maybe im immuned to it,
coz you are the 2nd person provoking me :)
haha.. i dont know why , everyone likes to tease me ,
and i dont know why too, i have to bear those provokings and mockings.
eventho it hurts like hell.
eventually im holding everything up.
sometimes i just wanna cry out loud, but i cant.
i only can do a placcid smile,
to everyone.
to tell everyone im perfectly fine,eventho im not, at all.
i wanna grab your arms, and yell at you , and tell you, it hurts.
i wanna cry right in front of you, to tell you my pain.
but i cant,when i see your face, flashbacks occur in my mind.
its like a quick glance to our past.
so i ended up, smiling to you.
i wish, you can hold me tight, eventho its hard to breathe, but please, hug me , hug me tight.
let it be forever, dont ever let go me.so that i wont let go you too.
im sorry, im selfish, i dont take another step towards you, because i had it enough.
if you ever think about taking another step, please let the step be a hug , it will be statisfying.
please stop your childish acts, it annoys.
stop everything, and start hugging.
3-4-2012
hahahahahaha sometimes when i see your wall..
you , make , me , laugh !
because you are just doing the same, dude, whats your rights to say me?
you tease me, but you are just doing the same.
i dunno why, everytime you make me give you a sympatic smile. :D
because you teach me to do it
and 1 more thing.
dont think i dunno anything,
i know alot than you !
you , make , me , laugh !
because you are just doing the same, dude, whats your rights to say me?
you tease me, but you are just doing the same.
i dunno why, everytime you make me give you a sympatic smile. :D
because you teach me to do it
and 1 more thing.
dont think i dunno anything,
i know alot than you !
Saturday, March 24, 2012
darn.
I try my best to make you happy
talk to you
WHY are you still provoking me , teasing me?
i had patience too
instead of keep saying me have intention, even say me "are you provoking me?"
are you seriously serious?
why, i really treat you sincerely dude.
you keep think i got intention ?
say bad abit , WHAT YOU GOT? IF I REALLY GOT INTENTION ? WHAT YOU HAVE FOR ME TO STEAL?
you know what, i gave up, im sick of you treating me like this,
fuck you.
talk to you
WHY are you still provoking me , teasing me?
i had patience too
instead of keep saying me have intention, even say me "are you provoking me?"
are you seriously serious?
why, i really treat you sincerely dude.
you keep think i got intention ?
say bad abit , WHAT YOU GOT? IF I REALLY GOT INTENTION ? WHAT YOU HAVE FOR ME TO STEAL?
you know what, i gave up, im sick of you treating me like this,
fuck you.
Friday, March 16, 2012
If im a writer_
Can i erase my screwed-up life?
can i write again my story?
Can I write my mother was beside me , healthy , complaining me , cooking delicious food during dinner? always bought my favorite food ?
Can i write my mother was still alive?
so that I can tell her again how sorry i am, a douchebag, a useless daughter, an ignorant girl.
Can i write this year is the end of the world?
so that i dont have to suffer everyday. i dont have to watch my grandma cry everyday, so that things wont look so bad.
Can i write about a guy?
who can hug me right now.
Can i write.......the past? again?
so clear all my regrets....
can i write again my story?
Can I write my mother was beside me , healthy , complaining me , cooking delicious food during dinner? always bought my favorite food ?
Can i write my mother was still alive?
so that I can tell her again how sorry i am, a douchebag, a useless daughter, an ignorant girl.
Can i write this year is the end of the world?
so that i dont have to suffer everyday. i dont have to watch my grandma cry everyday, so that things wont look so bad.
Can i write about a guy?
who can hug me right now.
Can i write.......the past? again?
so clear all my regrets....
Immunity.
Everyone has feelings too .
One day , a person come to you and confessed about everything, the past , and told you that you can count on him , he will always be there.
the next few days, he come to you again , and said, " ill take back my words."
whats my feeling?
i feel , blank, empty.
i dont know why , i just let out a cold smile on my face, why? i dont know, why dont you ask my feelings?
The reason im writing this isnt saying you're wrong, please, understand the situation, step in my shoes and think.
You can just throw words that is meaningful to me, and you asked it back.
why, of course, i will give back to you, can i say No?
Stop acting like you are going to disappear tomorrow , stop doing everything with your feelings.
think wise, act wise .
Again, please dont misunderstand this post, im not complaining you.
im just saying.
Well , maybe im immune with all this "Leaving"
the most cruel thing God taken away from me had already happened.
so, whats next? im ready, i dont feel the pain anymore, coz im already immune too it.
Stop this please, only you can cry now?
i have tears too,
what to do , im crying right now, seeing you leaving again.
no one will be there for me anymore, i'd already used to the feeling.
Just cry , cry and cry.
its normal,
coz im immuned to it.
One day , a person come to you and confessed about everything, the past , and told you that you can count on him , he will always be there.
the next few days, he come to you again , and said, " ill take back my words."
whats my feeling?
i feel , blank, empty.
i dont know why , i just let out a cold smile on my face, why? i dont know, why dont you ask my feelings?
The reason im writing this isnt saying you're wrong, please, understand the situation, step in my shoes and think.
You can just throw words that is meaningful to me, and you asked it back.
why, of course, i will give back to you, can i say No?
Stop acting like you are going to disappear tomorrow , stop doing everything with your feelings.
think wise, act wise .
Again, please dont misunderstand this post, im not complaining you.
im just saying.
Well , maybe im immune with all this "Leaving"
the most cruel thing God taken away from me had already happened.
so, whats next? im ready, i dont feel the pain anymore, coz im already immune too it.
Stop this please, only you can cry now?
i have tears too,
what to do , im crying right now, seeing you leaving again.
no one will be there for me anymore, i'd already used to the feeling.
Just cry , cry and cry.
its normal,
coz im immuned to it.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
stress out
sometimes i feel so stressed out,
why people dont understand me
why always ended up im the wrong one?
i just did the way i think it was right, normal
why, stop treating me like that
stop giving me the stare.
i know i wrong.
just stop the stares and everything
stop thinking that i did it on purpose.
im really tired.
my heart is really tired.
sometimes i just need a hug, so that i can cry out loud.
why people dont understand me
why always ended up im the wrong one?
i just did the way i think it was right, normal
why, stop treating me like that
stop giving me the stare.
i know i wrong.
just stop the stares and everything
stop thinking that i did it on purpose.
im really tired.
my heart is really tired.
sometimes i just need a hug, so that i can cry out loud.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
what to do ?
argh!!! streeeeeeeeeeeesss!!! *jessica and gary style*
what to do?
after i graduated secondary school , i will surely going to aus.
then what about dad?
he say he will move house and stay in a apartment,
yeah that was acceptable.
BUT then
he surely go drink and smoke..
he quitted smoke because of mummy's sickness already.
but then i remember during new year.
we went to my sis godparents house.
then we were inside playing mono poly cards,
then my eldest sis suddenly came in and tell me that daddy was smoking!
by the time i listened bout it , i was totally pissed off....!!!
why! i tot he quitted smoking ....
but he smoked! and twice!!
thanks to the "GOOD" friend of daddy, influenced him.
sometimes i think just stay at malaysia and continue my studies so that i can keep an eye on him. but im not super close with my dad, so its kinda hard!!!!
arghhhhh.... if mummy is still here , everything wont be that complicated><
what to do?
after i graduated secondary school , i will surely going to aus.
then what about dad?
he say he will move house and stay in a apartment,
yeah that was acceptable.
BUT then
he surely go drink and smoke..
he quitted smoke because of mummy's sickness already.
but then i remember during new year.
we went to my sis godparents house.
then we were inside playing mono poly cards,
then my eldest sis suddenly came in and tell me that daddy was smoking!
by the time i listened bout it , i was totally pissed off....!!!
why! i tot he quitted smoking ....
but he smoked! and twice!!
thanks to the "GOOD" friend of daddy, influenced him.
sometimes i think just stay at malaysia and continue my studies so that i can keep an eye on him. but im not super close with my dad, so its kinda hard!!!!
arghhhhh.... if mummy is still here , everything wont be that complicated><
untitled.
Sometimes, i will think of you.
just thinking how we enjoy talking each other.
laughs, giggles.
although i know you werent perfect,
i just ignore them.
and imagining your smile,
then ill smile to myself.
when i saw you, i only can stand in a very far distance.
just looking at you,
just looking is satisfying.
i can see you're happy, then im glad.
i just hope , one day,
we will just hold hands, eat together , had a movie together, or just lay onto ur shoulders.
:)
just thinking how we enjoy talking each other.
laughs, giggles.
although i know you werent perfect,
i just ignore them.
and imagining your smile,
then ill smile to myself.
when i saw you, i only can stand in a very far distance.
just looking at you,
just looking is satisfying.
i can see you're happy, then im glad.
i just hope , one day,
we will just hold hands, eat together , had a movie together, or just lay onto ur shoulders.
:)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The truth !
I , hereby clarify myself, for being innocently single, not flirting , not liking anyone right now !
I AM SO NOT IN LOVE NOR FLIRTING WITH MALES.
DIE ASSHOLES!
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS THE USE OF YOUR EYES, WHY YOU HAD TO SEE THINGS IN A PESSIMISTIC WAY?
CANT YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM VERY PURELY TALKING TO A GUY, NOT FLIRTING SHITS.
PLEASE REFER TO YOURSELF BEFORE TALKING BULLSHITS.
thankyou.
I AM SO NOT IN LOVE NOR FLIRTING WITH MALES.
DIE ASSHOLES!
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS THE USE OF YOUR EYES, WHY YOU HAD TO SEE THINGS IN A PESSIMISTIC WAY?
CANT YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM VERY PURELY TALKING TO A GUY, NOT FLIRTING SHITS.
PLEASE REFER TO YOURSELF BEFORE TALKING BULLSHITS.
thankyou.
seriously?
Like, seriously?
i just talking with friends, joking and laughing,
or is it , talk with a guy friend , laugh with a guy friend , surely is equal to flirting/ liking each other?
seriously?
then i no need talk to any male friend alr .
so good worry about you , send you inbox inform u something, but end up a cold reply, how nice?
fuck this shit.
seriously, grow up , why dont you think ? how bout you talking with girls? oh , thats nothing ? then i talk with boys , is something?
i cant accept your so called facts , its simply ridiculous and lame.
maybe i should start falling in love with girls , coz mostly the boys is met are douchebags :)
i just talking with friends, joking and laughing,
or is it , talk with a guy friend , laugh with a guy friend , surely is equal to flirting/ liking each other?
seriously?
then i no need talk to any male friend alr .
so good worry about you , send you inbox inform u something, but end up a cold reply, how nice?
fuck this shit.
seriously, grow up , why dont you think ? how bout you talking with girls? oh , thats nothing ? then i talk with boys , is something?
i cant accept your so called facts , its simply ridiculous and lame.
maybe i should start falling in love with girls , coz mostly the boys is met are douchebags :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
insomnia
i couldnt sleep , stayed awake till 5 am
then i found out a truth, a sad truth.
so the conclusion is,
我失恋了 .
=|
then i found out a truth, a sad truth.
so the conclusion is,
我失恋了 .
=|
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2011 , it feels like yesterdays
i did cry alot at 2011
i did alot of mistakes at 2011
i did make people disappointed at 2011
i did have fun in 2011
Amazing people i've met,and of course, douchebags were included.
Lost the one i loved. . .
Made new friends , and blossomed into besties.
Interested in gossips and lies.
chose to step away .
if we're meant to be, god will bring us together again right?
now is not the right time, i promised my mum .
to be a good girl , not letting her disappointed.
i will try my best.
not try , is a must.
i did alot of mistakes at 2011
i did make people disappointed at 2011
i did have fun in 2011
Amazing people i've met,and of course, douchebags were included.
Lost the one i loved. . .
Made new friends , and blossomed into besties.
Interested in gossips and lies.
chose to step away .
if we're meant to be, god will bring us together again right?
now is not the right time, i promised my mum .
to be a good girl , not letting her disappointed.
i will try my best.
not try , is a must.
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